Let me start off with a bit of thanks. Thank you, AO. I don't know where my fantasy hockey teams would be without you. Okay, now that we have gotten the pleasantries out of the way...
Dude, you've got to check yourself. All this flipping out after every goal stuff has got to stop. I mean really, act like you've scored before big guy. We all know you're a great scorer, you really don't have to keep making a scene. I wouldn't mind if you reserved your post-goal antics for overtime goals and times like that, but it's every freaking goal. I've never seen a player get so excited about a first period goal against a non-division rival in early February. I don't know if I would celebrate that much if my own son scored in overtime of Game 7 in the Stanley Cup Finals. You really have to tone it down a notch or five. Although to be honest, I wake up every morning hoping that the night before you hurt yourself in one of your wild celebrations. Just to teach you a lesson. Okay, and because that would be hilarious.
While I've got your attention and I'm in an advice giving mood... keep your head up. With the way you continue to take runs at people there's a defenseman's elbow out there somewhere with your name all over it. You are already a marked man due to your skill level and how vital you are to the Caps, you shouldn't stoke the fire by continuing to go out of your way to make the big hit. Payback's a comin'. Don't say I didn't warn you.
One last thing. I know when Sid went down you thought you were going to take the NHL by storm and steal his spotlight, right? Well, for a while it was looking that way. But now that you've come back to Earth a bit, how does it feel to know there's another Penguin out there playing better than you? It shouldn't be too much longer before we all start referring to 2004 as the Malkin Draft.
I'm glad we took the time to have this little chat AO. Now go score some more power play game winners. My fantasy teams can use them.
Monday, February 18, 2008