The Time Has Come For Action!

I have essentially been a Pittsburgh Penguins fan for my entire life. Ever since I saw them play an exhibition game at the Oakland Coliseum as a little kid (thanks Dad!) I knew they were my team. Having said that, it was not easy being a Penguins fan in the late '80s since they more or less sucked. But then the '90s came and things turned in a hurry. Back to back Stanley Cup championships completely changed the culture of the team and help usher in a decade of dominance. Notwithstanding the magnificence of one Mario Lemieux, that success never happens without one Ronald Francis.

Arriving in a late season trade in 1991, Ron Francis became one of the most crucial and arguably the most dependable piece of the Penguins. Ron Francis made significant contributions to the first Pens Cup, but really came into his own as a Penguin during the '92 playoffs. With Mario out of the second round with his broken hand Francis put the Penguins on his back in Game 4 to even the series with the Rangers and ultimately eliminate them in 6 games, despite being heavy underdogs. Francis continued his inspired play for the remainder of the playoff run and even scored the Cup clinching goal in Game 4 against the Blackhawks. From that point on Ron Francis was almost as dominant in the NHL as he was unheralded. Being in the shadow of stars like Lemieux and Jagr prevented Francis from receiving the recognition he deserved.

Now it is deja vu all over again as he is still being denied one last bit of recognition that he has clearly earned. Earlier this year Ron was elected to the Hockey Hall of Fame in his first year of eligibility. That has brought to light the one thing his profile is still missing... the Penguins NEED to retire Ron Francis' number 10 jersey!

This belongs in the rafters!

The Penguins need to step up an start to recognize the players who made this team great. I am not saying that Ronnie is the only ex-Pen deserving of this honor (Coffey, Murphy, Barrasso, Mullen?), but he is a great place to start. Let's look at some of his accomplishments as a Penguin:

• Two-time Stanley Cup champion.
• 164 goals and 449 assists for 613 points in 533 regular season games. That's good for 4th all-time in franchise history.
• 100 points in 97 playoff games.
• Twice led the NHL in assists ('95 and '95-'96).
• Led the NHL in plus/minus in '95.
• Twice won the Lady Byng trophy ('95 and '97-'98).
• Won the Selke trophy in '95.

Along with all of those achievements, Ron Francis was the heartbeat of one of the NHL's top clubs throughout his stay in Pittsburgh. It is time for the Penguins to follow the lead of Francis' other team(s) and retire his number for good. The Pens need to start the process of honoring and embracing their stars of the past. This team was a lot more than just that guy Mario.

Sign the petition to retire Ron Francis' Penguins #10!

A Recipe for Hate

So there I was minding my own business a day or two ago, just looking for some decent soccer news on the internet when I stumble across this:

Club America 1 - 2 Chelsea - SSN
Uploaded by FootballHeaven

My reaction was two-fold. First, I'm setting the over/under for number of games it takes Drogba and Malouda to celebrate a goal by making out at 10. Second, I hate Chelsea. Let me try that again... I really hate Chelsea.

I took some time to internalize that and came to the realization that hate is part of what makes sports so great. Sure it's great to have a team to root for and follow, but it is often just as satisfying to root against a team you hate, especially if the team you like is struggling at the time. How many self-proclaimed baseball fans cheer harder against the Yankees than for the team they like? I have realized that hatred makes up a large portion of my sports persona. The list of teams I like/support is nowhere near the size of the list of teams I hate, and I am totally good with that.

One thing you have to realize when examining this topic is that there are different levels of hatred. For example, there are players you hate until they join your team and then you love them (i.e. Darius Kasparaitis), and then there are players you hate so much that even when they are on your team you still hate them (i.e. Marty McSorley). There are also times when two teams you hate are playing each other and you have to decide who you would rather see win. So even though I hate the Dallas Cowboys, I have no choice to cheer them on to victory when they are playing the 49ers. It can get confusing at times, but the important thing to remember is that part of supporting your team is hating several others. If you don't get that then you aren't a real sports fan.

Now that we have established that hatred is a natural part of following sports, let's take a look at how I spread the hate. Keep in mind that this is more of a greatest hits than an anthology. If I were to write about all the teams and players I hate I would need to take a week off of work. So here goes:

• The Detroit Red Wings: I just had to start the list here. If there was one sports franchise I could go back in time and erase from existence it would be this one. There are only four good things to have ever been associated with the Red Wings; Gordie Howe, Bob Probert, Bob Errey, and Larry Murphy. Anything else that ever touched that franchise I hate. I even hate Little Caesars!
• The New York Islanders: You can not be a Penguins fan over the age of 20 and not hate the Islanders with the fury of a thousand suns. Glenn Healy, Steve Thomas, Ray Ferraro, and David Volek ruined the '90s. That team could sign me and all three of my kids to play for them and I would still hate them.
• Chelsea: Back to the beginning! How can you not hate Chelsea? Jose Mourinho alone is enough to drive you insane. Throw in the attitude and the insane spending and you have possibly the easiest team on the planet to hate. Unless you are directly related to a Chelsea player or you are named Chelsea you have no business supporting this club.
• Kirk Gibson: The bane of every A's fan is watching Gibby hobble around the bases pumping his fists in the '88 World Series. I had the misfortune of having a roommate in college who was not only a lifelong Dodger fan, but also in attendance at that very game. If I never see that highlight again it will be too soon.
• Wayne Gretzky: This could be a whole post on its own. "The Great One" represents everything I can't stand in a hockey player. Spend a thousand years looking and you will never find a softer hockey player. Numbers or not, I could name fifty players off the top of my head who I would rate as "better" than Gretzky. I don't think I could name five who I hate more than him though.
• The San Francisco Giants: This one should be a no-brainer. If you are an A's fan then you hate the Giants, and vice versa. I never could understand the losers who would walk around in those half A's/half Giants hats. That's like wearing a bandanna that's half Crips and half Bloods. You just can't do it! I have to say though, along with the Penguins' two Cups, the A's beating the Giants in '89 is probably the fondest sports memory of my youth.
• Peyton Manning: Seriously, does that guy need to be in every commercial that airs on every channel during football season? Somebody tell Peyton it's okay to say "No" to things every now and then.
• The Ottawa Senators: I never had a problem with the Sens before this year. Funny what a difference one playoff series can make. I now officially hate the Senators. They haven't reached Islander status yet, but I won't be running out to buy a Chris Neil jersey anytime soon either.
  

I could go on forever here. The important thing to remember is that it is okay to hate when it comes to sports. You just have to keep it in perspective is all. I don't wish any actual misfortune on any player. It's not that kind of hate. I just want to see them fail miserably, that's all. That said, if Pavel Datsyuk blows out his knee he probably shouldn't hold his breath waiting for a Get Well Soon card from me.

Define "Fair"

By now you may have heard about a 20 year old runner from South Africa named Oscar Pistorius. He is notable because he was born without fibula, calf, and ankle bones. He had his legs amputated when he was 11 months old and learned to walk, run, and even play rugby on prosthetic legs. Following an injury, he moved away from rugby and starting running in track competitions. Recently, new technology was used to develop prosthetics called "Blades" to give amputees more agility and speed while running (as shown on Pistorius, at left). The specific Blades that Pistorius uses are manufactured by a company from Iceland. They modeled the shape of these Blades after the curvature of a cheetah's legs.

He's making news because he wants to be allowed to compete in the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, but the International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF) has issued an opinion saying that his Blades give him an unfair advantage, which they believe clearly violates an IAAF rule introduced in March banning from competition any runner who is found to be reaping some benefit from artificial help. The IAAF claim is that Pistorius's blades provide less air resistance than normal legs, therefore he has the advantage over able-bodied runners.

While he may be using state of the art Blades that offer an extra "spring in his step," that fact remains that while able-bodied runners have the luxury of using an entire leg's worth of muscle to run, Pistorius has only his upper thigh muscles to propel him forward. That he can run in the first place is a huge accomplishment, but to be as good at it as he is must be recognized as skill on the same level as that of a Michael Phelps or a Lance Armstrong. I'm not a doctor, and I know about as much about anatomy as I know about Mexican donkey shows, but wouldn't more amputee athletes be competing and (more importantly) winning against able-bodied runners if the secret to Pistorius's success was simply the type of Blade he uses? It seems like Pistorius's physical abilities are being outshined by his disabilities. And if he was truly at an "unfair advantage" over the able-bodied runners, wouldn't he have placed higher than seventh in Sheffield?

Naturally, Pistorius is upset about the IAAF statement. I suppose I would be, too, if I had struggled as much as Pistorius has. But here's the thing: I tend to agree with the IAAF's opinion. Pistorius probably should not be allowed to compete in the Olympics. Hear me out: for one thing, he can continue to compete in the Paralympics, so it's not as if he's being completely shut out of competition. However, the biggest reason he shouldn't be allowed to compete in the Olympics isn't because of his disability or his current set of Blades; it's because of the Blades of the future. Who knows what technology will bring in the next 10 years? Perhaps those Blades really will be better than real legs, so what then? Do the Olympic Committee and the IAAF issue a retraction and ban runners with these prosthetics? Imagine the outrage! So why not nip it in the bud and say "NO" now so this doesn't happen in the future? No matter when this ban is inevitably issued, these two athletic organizations are going to be vilified for being discriminatory, even though the ban will be issued in the interest of maintaining fairness. Ironic, isn't it?

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Now from the WTF files: Australian rugby player Ben Czislowski sustained a head wound that required a few stitches after colliding head-to-head with player Matt Austin on April 1. Later, Czislowski would suffer from an eye infection, lethargy, and shooting pains in his head. Last week doctors finally figured out why the injury was taking so long to heal: they found Austin's tooth imbedded in Czislowski's head!!! O-U-C-H!!!!!!!

You Stay Classy, Cynthia Rodriguez

Being a celebrity athlete certainly has its perks. The best of which include the money, the money, and, oh yeah, did I mention the money? But there is no light without dark, no up with down. There is one major pitfall of being a celebrity athlete - the almost complete loss of privacy. Everyone knows about this rather significant drawback, yet most people still would give anything to be a famous _________ [fill in the blank with your favorite sport] player, which leads me to conclude that the perks > the pitfall. Losing anonymity seems a small price to pay in exchange for living the good life, does it not? That must be true, otherwise there wouldn't be so many wannabe actors, singers, and sports heroes.

I'm not one to care much about what a player does off the field, ice, or court, as long as he's doing his job while he's wearing the team uniform... Unless, of course, I'm writing about #87 for my other blog, (shameless plug) The Sidney Crosby Show. But something happened a few weeks ago, and I need to vent about it. NY Yankees star Alex Rodriguez was photographed hitting a strip club in Toronto with a chesty blonde who was, *ahem*, NOT his wife.

Cynthia and Alex Rodriguez

Following the publication of the photographic evidence of his indiscretion, Boston Red Sox fans showed up in force at the June 1st game sporting blonde female masks:

"Straaaaaaay-Rod, Straaaaaaay-Rod, Straaaaaaay-Rod!!!"

In response to fans, Cynthia Rodriguez appeared at the July 1 game wearing a tank top bearing the words "F*CK YOU" on the back:

What's she looking for? Her dignity.

(Her shirt wasn't censored, by the way - the picture was pixelated by the newspaper that published it.)

I have two problems with Mrs. A-Hole (OOPS! I meant Mrs. A-Rod):

First, she's angry at the wrong party. Being mocked by fans or tabloid newspapers shouldn't be the source of Mrs. Rodriguez's ire; her philandering husband should be! That shirt prompted at least one fan to leave the game with his young child, and she may have violated a Yankee Stadium policy by wearing it.

Secondly, she's aiming an obscene gesture at the very people without whom she wouldn't be able to afford her cushy lifestyle. Example: She received an "apology present" from A-Rod in the form of $6,000 worth of diamonds. Whether she likes it or not, the fans pay her husband's ginormous salary by purchasing game tickets and Yankees merchandise. And without the fans' interest, A-Rod wouldn't be able to command those millions of dollars, because we all know that talent alone doesn't get you nearly as far as celebrity does (otherwise there would be no Paris Hilton).

Yeah, maybe their personal life together isn't technically any of our business, but the aforementioned nasty little pitfall that comes with all of that wonderful money is a reality that the Rodriguezes need to recognize. And in the future, should A-Rod be caught cheating again, maybe Cynthia should direct her anger at its rightful target. It would do her pocketbook well to be grateful to the people that fill it.

The Two Sides of Merseyside

In the blue corner... Everton boss David Moyes lashed out at the Premiership's big spenders this transfer season by labeling them "irresponsible". He bemoans the fact that other clubs splashing the cash this summer is making it hard for his (little) club to bring in top flight talent. Basically this all amounts to Moyes whining because the big boys have money to spend and he doesn't. Maybe David can hit up fans for some extra spending cash.

In the Red corner... Liverpool have responded to Moyes' complaints by signing Yossi Benayoun and Ryan Babel for £5 million and £11.5 million respectively. This brings the Reds' summer spending to around £40 million. Yeah, I don't feel bad for Everton either.

I'm pretty happy with both of these signings. I think Yossi will help fill the void left by Luis Garcia's move to Madrid. I expect some solid contributions from Babel this year as well, but more patience will be needed with him. I don't expect him to step right into a starting first squad spot and set England on fire by any means. The biggest thing to me is that these are two very versatile players who give Rafa even more options with his lineup. I would hate to be an opposing manager having to game plan against Liverpool this year. The only downside to bringing in these guys is that it probably puts to rest any hope of seeing Ricardo Quaresma in a Liverpool kit this year. I would be very surprised if Rafa added more than one more first team player this summer and I wouldn't expect it to be a big name like Quaresma. My guess is that Rafa will add another defender and then start getting ready for the upcoming campaign.

Breaking Down the Penguins '07-'08 Schedule

The NHL released it's '07-'08 regular season schedule yesterday. Here is my early analysis of the hand the schedule makers have dealt the Penguins:

• Oct. 5 @ Carolina - The season opener for the Pens. This could be a tough road game to start the campaign. Hopefully they see the Hurricanes that missed the playoffs last year and not the team that lifted the Cup about 14 months ago.
• Oct. 6 vs. Anaheim - At first glance the Pens home opener against the defending champs looks like anything but a gimme. Dig a little deeper and you realize that prior to this game the Ducks will already have played 4 road games and crossed the Atlantic twice thanks to their opening pair against the Kings in London (and I'm not talking Ontario here). It will also be their second game in as many nights and third in the last four nights. If there is such thing as a perfect time to play the defending champs, this is it.
• Oct. 13 @ Toronto - Sid and the boys make their first appearance of the season on Hockey Night in Canada. I'm sure Jordan Staal will be ready.
• Oct. 23 vs. Rangers - The Penguins first look at the revamped Rangers. It may not be that bad since the Rangers' defensemen this year will probably be earning $50 combined. Sather does know there's a salary cap in the NHL right?
• Nov. 7 vs. Philadelphia - The new look Flyers swing into town. The Pens definitely won't go 8-0 against Philly this year, but I'm still not sold on the Flyers. As long as Derian Hatcher is playing I can't bring myself to pick the Flyers over the Pens.
• Nov. 22 @ Ottawa - The Pittsburgh's first rematch with their playoff ousters and the second of two games in as many nights. Hopefully coach Therrien shows the team how lousy they looked against the Sens this April to fire them up a little.
• Dec. 3 vs. Phoenix - Playing the Coyotes is no big deal considering how bad they are, but this will be Penguins fans' only chance to boo Wayne Gretzky in person for the next three years.
• Jan. 1 @ Buffalo - The Pens open the year with the second half of a home-and-home against a dismantled Sabres squad. The reason this game is relevant... it could be played outdoors. Oh to be within driving distance of Buffalo...
• Feb. 24 vs. San Jose - The second of two afternoon starts on consecutive days. After taking on Ottawa on the road the day before, hopefully the boys have enough left in the tank to handle the Sharks. The smart money says Dany Sabourin gets the nod here.
• Mar. 31 @ Rangers - The second leg of a Sunday/Monday home-and-home with the Rangers. These two games could end up deciding the division champ.
• Apr. 6 @ Philadelphia - The second game of a season ending home-and-home with the Flyers. These two games could also end up deciding the division champ.

Notes and observations:

• The Penguins play games on back-to-back days 15 times this season. That seems like an awfully high number to me for a non-Olympic season. I have a feeling a lot of that has to do with the NHL trying to get Sid on national TV as much as possible. Which I can't blame them for. Hopefully Sabourin is able to step in and provide some quality starts in there along the way.
• The first half of November is going to be HUGE for the Pens. They open the month in Colorado, and then play nine games against division opponents in the next nineteen days. The Penguins won't win the Atlantic in November, but they sure could lose it.
• The Pens longest road trip of the season is only four games, which they will do twice. Their longest homestand of the season will also be four games, which they will do three times. It would be nice to see the boys get s solid six or seven game string at home somewhere along the way, but Eastern Conference travel isn't too bad so it's not that big of a deal.
• The western Canada trip will be Sid's first appearance in those parts. Knowing him I'd look for 10-12 points out of those games.

So there's my take on the new schedule. I'm sure once the season starts there will be games that become more significant than they look now. In the meantime, it's just nice to know the Good Ship Penguins is sailing in the right direction and that it's okay to talk about winning the division again without being laughed at. October 5th can't get here soon enough.

Nice to Meet You / $idney I$ Re-$igned

Hi! I'm new here. My name is Jodie, but I'm better known in the blogosphere as snoopyjode. Along with Loser Chris, I'll be sharing some facts and opinions about anything and everything sports. I have been a Pittsburgh Penguins fan for more than 10 years now. I live in central Pennsylvania, so I get to go to Pens games once in a while, and I look forward to sharing my experiences at some of the upcoming season's games with you. I'm most familiar with hockey, but I'm smart enough to pick up on a good sports story when I hear one. I can't wait to get started, so without further ado...

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Imagine, if you will, going to a car lot. You've narrowed it down to 2 choices. Vehicle A is a brand new Range Rover that normally sells for more than $80,000 but the dealer has offered to you for $60,000. Vehicle B is a used 2001 Ford Explorer that is valued at around $10,000 but the dealer has informed you that he will accept no less than $30,000 for it. Which do you choose? (I know. It's a stupid analogy, but bear with me. I'm making a point...)

Well, if you chose Vehicle A, you're Penguins' general manager Ray Shero and you've just signed NHL phenom Sidney Crosby to a 5 year extension at the bargain price of $43.5 million. (FUN FACT: Crosby was born on 8-7-87, wears the jersey number 87, and his new contract works out to be $8.7 million a year.) Sir Sidney could have commanded top dollar (which would have been more than $10 million a year based on current NHL guidelines) because, after all, he is the best player in the league. But Sid showed his Penguins loyalty and gave Shero the "team-player" discount. Get this: There have been Internet grumblings that the contract is too expensive. That is an incredibly ridiculous statement. He's the best player in the entire NHL and could have demanded the maximum payment and would have gotten it (Shero doesn't want to be forever known as the one that let Sidney get away) but he didn't. $8.7 mil a year is a bargain basement price for a player like Sid! What other teenager who is the best in player in his or her sport is going to pass on collecting an extra $2 mil in order to leave some extra cash in the pot for his coworkers? That's one of the big reasons Sid is my favorite player.

Now, if you chose Vehicle B, well that makes you one of these guys:

• Glen Sather, GM of the New York Rangers, who just signed Chris Drury to a 5 year, $32.25 million contract. He's a decent player, I realize, but on a scale that's weighted with Sid's talent-to-salary ratio, Drury's new salary is a joke. I guess it doesn't help that the Rangers have always seemed to have more money than brains...


• Paul Holmgren, GM of the Philadelphia Flyers, who just signed Daniel Briere to an 8 year, $52 million contract. What is with the OUTRAGEOUS amount of money? One awesome season does not make any player worth that kind of money. Wow. I wonder if I have one outstanding day at work if they'll quadruple my salary with no guarantee that I'll ever have another day as good as that one again?

Was it just me, or did you too think the dollar amounts being thrown around to average (hear me out - I mean average in terms of the NHL) players during this year's free agency frenzy was out of control? Does ANYONE think Briere would have gotten that kind of offer if Sid's contract was inked first? Maybe now other general managers can Sid's deal as a guideline to get the overspending under control. Hey, a girl can dream, right?



On a somber note, former Detroit Red Wings coach Jimmy Skinner, who was at the helm when Hall of Famers Gordie Howe and Ted Lindsay captured Lord Stanley's Cup in 1955, died on July 11, 2007 at the ripe old age of 90. T.O.F.T.T. offers our condolences to his family, friends, and fans.

Getting Caught Up!

Wow, I picked the wrong time to be away for over a week. Let's get to it:

• Ronnie Franchise (that's Ron Francis to you and me) is now immortal! The most underrated player in NHL history gets the highest individual honor possible. He is also a part of the highest scoring class to ever enter the Hall. And it's nice to see he hasn't forgotten his time in black and gold.
  
• El Nino season has hit Liverpool! With the superstar striker hole apparently filled, Rafa is now shifting his focus to adding wingers and shedding dead weight (Cisse, Bellamy, Zenden, etc.) In other positive news, Rafa has confirmed that neither Crouch nor Pennant are going anywhere.
• thePensblog admits defeat at the hands of TOFTT's vast wealth of 90's Penguins knowledge.
• NHL free agency is out of control! The money being thrown around out there is insane. But I couldn't be happier that the Flyers just signed a guy entering his thirties and just slightly bigger than my six year old daughter to an eight (yes, as in 8) year contract. I must admit though, the Atlantic Division is a lot tougher than it was 10 days ago.
• In case you forgot, baseball players fight like girls.

That's all I got right now. It's good to be back. Until next time...
Viva la Rafalution and in Shero We Trust!

Commish For A Day: Elevating the NBA!

It's that time again! Time to turn another professional league on its ear as I do what I think is necessary to make it "better". Today I'm taking a run at the NBA. I preface this buy saying that I'm not into basketball enough to be so bold as to suggest subtle tweaks to the game itself. With that said, I do think I have some ideas to help the NBA out. So let's get to it!

My changes to the NBA:

• Move the season: In my new and improved NBA the season starts on New Years Day and the Finals end in mid-August. I'm convinced this would help the NBA for a number of reasons. A big one is that the NBA gets away from the NFL as much as possible. It also puts the league in more direct competition with the MLB, a battle I think the NBA can actually win. Especially with young people. Baseball is pretty boring, give people an alternative during the summer months. This also creates the opportunity for NBA day games, another way to bring in a younger audience (and maybe some moms too).
• Move the draft: With the season moving, the draft will obviously need to be moved as well. The NBA draft will now take place on the last Friday in September. This provides a decent break after the end of the playoffs but still leaves a buffer before the start of the NCAA season. More on this below...
• Draft eligibility rules changed: Any player that will be 21 years old on the day of the draft is eligible to be drafted. I don't want kids in my NBA. Granted a 21 year old isn't much of an upgrade from a 19 year old, but I'll take what I can get here.
• Options for drafted players: A drafted player can still opt to return to their college team if they do not sign a contract. The team that drafted them will still retain their rights for two years. Also, players who choose to return to school will be able to sign and join their NBA team one week after the completion of the NCAA tournament. This will generate some great mid-season buzz as college stars are able to jump right to the NBA after their season ends. Imagine if Carmelo Anthony had been able to join the Nuggets one week after leading Syracuse to the NCAA title (I know he would not have been eligible under my age rules, it's just a hypothetical.)
• All free throws are 1-and-1: I know this will lead to a drop in scoring, but free throws should really be that free should they? Besides, if a professional basketball player can't make a shot called a free throw on one try, why do they deserve another? This rule is not in effect for the final minute of each half.
• Start West Coast playoff games earlier: The NBA games on the West Coast simply start way too late. There's no reason why people with playoff tickets can't get to a 6 o'clock Pacific time start. Plus you could even have day playoff games thanks to the fact that the playoffs would be starting in late June. Bottom line, playoff games should not be starting after most of the East Coast is already asleep. It's just common sense right?

So there you have it, my new and improved NBA... I love this game! Okay not really, but it would be nice to have something besides MLB, hockey free agency, and soccer transfers to follow during the long summer months.

Alexi Lalas: No Longer an Inside Joke

Let's get one thing out of the way right off the bat... Alexi Lalas is a moron. Need proof? Well let's let Alexi himself do the talking. While lashing out at the European media members who have been critical of the MLS and American soccer in the wake of David Beckham signing with the L.A. Galaxy, Lalas had these nuggets of wisdom for those uppity Europeans;

"There are a lot of stars in European football who would struggle over here. But Beckham has done his homework on this league, and his team-mates, and he recognises the merit of American soccer."

Oh really? "Stars" of European football who would struggle over here, eh? This must be a different league from the one that is getting lit up by an Aston Villa benchwarmer. I wonder what league he's talking about.

"They took a page out of American football and now have Saturday Showdowns and Super Sundays. I love it. This is high-calibre marketing: taking an inferior product and improving it through packaging. You know, there's no accounting for bad taste. The fact that a segment of the world worships an inferior product in the Premiership is their business."

American football has "Saturday Showdowns" and "Super Sundays"? That's news to me. Last time I checked college was on Saturday and the NFL on Sunday. Maybe I was too busy "worshiping" the "inferior" Premiership to notice. And maybe if Alexi's precious MLS could market itself that well this discussion would not even be necessary.

"In England our league is considered second-class but I honestly believe if you took a helicopter and grabbed a bunch of MLS players and took them to the perceived best league in the world they wouldn't miss a beat and the fans wouldn't notice any drop in quality."

This is the true punchline to this entire joke. Alexi slams the MLS' critics for never having watched a game, but I'm starting to wonder if he has. The level of play in the MLS is atrocious compared to top flight European soccer. I tried watching the opening day game between D.C. United and the Colorado Rapids and I couldn't get through the first twenty minutes without being embarrassed. I give the MLS credit, they are making strides to bridge the gap between themselves and the elite leagues in the world, but it's still the freaking Grand Canyon! You could take the top eleven players in the MLS and they might be able to get some playing time in the Premiership, but if they were really that good they would already be playing in the Premiership. The level of play is better in England and the money is much better. Why would players choose to stay in America if they had a realistic opportunity to play in the Premiership? To suggest that there would be no noticeable drop in quality is also just plain ridiculous. A more likely scenario is that you could drop me and ten of my friends into an MLS game and the fans wouldn't notice a drop in quality.

The bottom line is this, Lalas is trying to keep American soccer from being a big joke across the pond, but by lashing out like this (and in such absurd fashion) he is just cementing the views that most Europeans already have of the MLS and American soccer. If Alexi really wants to strike back at Europe he should try to help get the level of play in the MLS to where top players actually want to come here and play before they are washed up and can't hack it in the Premiership anymore. That is the only way to win this battle. Maybe Alexi realizes that he might not live that long.

Commish For A Day: Taking the NHL to the Next Level

Welcome to the first installment of my new feature, Commish For A Day. In these posts I will be assuming control of various sports leagues and making the changes that I think will help evolve the sport/league. My first task (not surprisingly) will be to take over for Gary "I Still Secretly Work For The NBA" Bettman and try to restore the NHL to major sport status (for those who think it is not currently a major American sport.) So, here's what I would do with my unlimited power:

• Impose new regulations on player equipment: The NHL has to do away with the body armor players are wearing these days. Modern elbow pads have essentially become weapons. Just look at the Chris Pronger hit on Dean McAmmond in the Finals. New upper body pads need to be developed that still provide suitable protection while being lighter and softer to prevent injuries to other players. I would enforce the rule by having the referees inspect the player's equipment prior to each game (if it's good enough for youth soccer it's good enough for the NHL.)



• Adjust the Instigator Rule: NHL players need to get back to policing themselves. Too many marginal players are taking liberties with star players with little or no consequence. Players need to be held accountable for their actions on the ice. In my NHL an instigator gets two minutes and nothing else. No misconduct. No suspensions. Two minutes in the box and then get one with it.



• Contract four teams: The NHL has gotten too big for its own good and it is in too many markets that seem unwilling to support it. So I'm getting rid of four teams and making all their players free agents. The first three teams to go are easy choices; Phoenix, Columbus and Florida are all gone. The fourth team is a little trickier... if the Predators stay in Nashville than they are gone. If they move to Ontario like most people expect them to in the near future than I am getting rid of Edmonton. I know that wouldn't be a popular decision, but a team needs more than tradition to survive in the new NHL. Plus all the upset fans would eventually come back to the NHL if they ever left to begin with. What else is there to do in Edmonton?



• Minor penalties last the full 2 minutes: I can't find a single thing wrong with this adjustment. It will most likely increase scoring, increase ice time for skill players, and hopefully cut down on penalties in the long run improving the pace of the game. Teams with good power plays should be rewarded.



• Find a way to get back together with ESPN: It's sad to say, but ESPN decides much of what is relevant in the sporting world. This move cannot be dictated by finances, give ESPN whatever they want to get back on their air. This is the only way to increase exposure on the self-proclaimed "World Wide Leader in Sports" any time soon.



• Make teams make at least 5% of tickets available to all games on the day of the game: The NHL is awesome in person. The league just needs to find a way to get new people in the stands to see it. Hopefully this measure would lead to some "impulse attendance" and start to build a new crop of fans to carry the sport into the future. Get people into the arenas and they will be hooked.



• Raise the minimum age for unrestricted free agency: Reward teams that draft well by allowing them to keep their star players for a little longer. Players would not be eligible for free agency until reaching the age of 30 by July 1. That's it, no other conditions. Fans should be able to count on their top players staying with their team for a reasonable amount of time. But in order to appease the players...



• Lower the compensation for signing restricted free agents: Teams will be forced to give up no more than two first round picks for signing a restricted free agent. The penalties for signing restricted free agents are so steep right now that it should not even be considered free agency. Let teams make offers to RFAs and then give their current team 1 week to match or take the compensation.



• Fix the schedule: It's really quite simple, every team needs to play in every arena every season. Trimming the league down to 26 teams makes this easier right off the bat. Then just tweak the number of intraconference and intradivisional games to make it work. Western Conference fans shouldn't have to wait 3 years to see Sidney Crosby in person.



• Allow more contact with goalies: This is an easy, cut-and-dry rule change. If a goalie is in their crease or the trapezoid behind the goal they are off limits, if they wander anywhere else on the ice they are fair game. At the very least this should cut down on goalies flopping around trying to draw penalties (see Ray Emery).



• Play-in game for final playoff spot: After the last game of the regular season the 8th and 9th seeded teams in each conference will play a single game at the 8th seeded team's home arena to determine who gets the final playoff spot in each conference. The game will be played using playoff rules (5 on 5 overtime with no shootout, etc.) and will be fit in between the end of the regular season and the start of the playoffs. If the home team's arena is unavailable for some reason, a neutral arena will be determined (possibly a double-header at the other 8 seed's arena).

So there you have it, my new and improved NHL! I really think these changes would help to breathe some much needed life into the league and help it work its way back to making the "Big 3" sports the "Big 4" again.

06-07 NHL Season Recap: These Ducks Are Mighty Afterall

As the clock ran out on the NHL season last night, it was a perfect time to step back and reflect on what was a pretty solid NHL season when all was said and done. This season gave us quite a few things to remember... Rick DiPietro's monster 15-year contract, an outstanding crop of new young talent, the Pens staying in Pittsburgh, Vote for Rory, the Buffalo/Ottawa brawl, Mike Modano becoming #1 on the all-time American-born goal scoring list, and this:



As I look back on the season that was, I might as well start at the end. The Ducks took the Senators out behind the proverbial woodshed to claim the first Stanley Cup in their brief history. Ottawa looked like they had no business being on the same ice as the Ducks as they were pummeled into submission early and often. They did manage to avoid a sweep thanks to some generous officiating in game 3, but they were never really in this series. I predicted a Ducks victory, but I thought Ottawa had more of a fight in them. I guess they showed me. Congrats to the Ducks, old time hockey is back!

Now to the Awards!

• Rookie of the Year: Jordan Staal. All bias aside, choosing between Staal and fellow Penguin Evgeni Malkin was tough. Malkin has all the skill in the world, but seems to lack the fire at times. Staal on the other hand looks like he's giving you everything he's got on every shift and has a knack for coming up with big plays at big times. The bottom line, if I was Ray Shero and Mario told me I could only keep one of these two, Malkin would be on the way out of town.
• Defenseman of the Year: Scott Niedermeyer. One of the most under appreciated players of the modern era. Niedermeyer is the ultimate professional and was the heartbeat of a Ducks team that was outstanding from game 1 of the season all the way up through the Finals. This guy does it all with little fanfare, but true hockey fans recognize what he brings to the ice every game. His Conn Smythe award was well earned.
• Goalie of the Year: Martin Brodeur. This was another tight race as Brodeur and Roberto Luongo both had monster years. At the end of the day though, Martin was just better. Leading the league in shutouts and setting an NHL record for wins is a pretty good way to lock up this award.
• Forward of the Year: Sidney Crosby. At the tender age of 19 Sid the Kid has already established himself as the premier player in the NHL. He is going to be the guy in the NHL for the next 10+ years.
• Coach of the Year: Michel Therrien. I know this is turning into the Penguins Show here, but this is a pretty easy call when you think about it. Therrien went into the season with the NHL's second-youngest team and second-lowest payroll and came out of it with one of the best team's in the league over the second half of the season. Nobody expected the Pens to make the playoffs this year, let alone challenge for the division title. When a young team exceeds expectations that much, you have to give the coach credit.
• Most Valuable Player: Sidney Crosby. Roberto Luongo is the only person who even comes close to Sid here. Luongo was huge for the Canucks all season long, but Sid simply was the Pens this year. During a tumultuous season Sid put the Penguins on his 19 year-old shoulders and carried them to the playoffs for the first time in 7 years. Oh, and he became the youngest scoring champion in any major professional sports league along the way. Throw in playing the last month plus with a broken foot and Sid has MVP written all over him.

It's sad to see hockey season come to an end, but I'm looking forward to an active offseason and an even better year next year. Whether the mainstream American sports media wants to admit it or not, the NHL is back! Stayed tuned for my Free Agency Preview coming in the next couple weeks.

UEFA Drops the Ball!

It has been a tough couple of weeks for Reds fans. First there was the whole Athens debacle. Then we are presented with these hideous new away kits for the upcoming campaign:

This is a joke, right?

And now UEFA is publishing a report calling Liverpool fans the worst in all of Europe. Claiming that there have been more "incidents" involving Liverpool supporters than any other club in Europe over the past four years.

Various officials around the club and the city of Liverpool have been quick to fire back at UEFA for their report. And deservedly so. After all, these are the same fans who have been repeatedly praised by UEFA officers in recent years and are widely considered among the best if not the best in all of Europe. It is plain for all to see that this is a deplorable attempt by UEFA to deflect blame from themselves in the wake of problems at the Champions League Final in Athens. Problems that were accurately predicted in a report Liverpool delivered to UEFA a week in advance of the match after they had examined the setup for the Final.

The fact that UEFA is trying to blame fans for the fact that supporters with legitimate tickets in Athens were not allowed into the stadium is a joke. The situation was handled horribly by UEFA and now they are trying to avoid their share of the blame at the expense of the Liverpool faithful.

LFC Chief executive Rick Parry has summed it up best;

"To have a stadium with no counting system and no turnstiles is unforgivable for any standard of game, let alone a major final.

"We produced a report to UEFA a week beforehand predicting, sadly, all the things that did go wrong. We told UEFA our intelligence suggested there were 5,000 forged tickets in existence.

"They knew and we knew that thousands of fans would travel without tickets and we stressed the need for a proper check at the outer cordon."

As a Liverpool fan I am glad to see the club and the city fighting back against this report. I know that the club will not stand for these accusations and neither will the fans. It's time for UEFA to stand up and admit they were at fault in Athens. An apology wouldn't kill them either.

*Update*
Steven Gerrard is now also on record, calling out UEFA for poor execution of the Champions League Final. Captain Stevie says that everything from the stadium to the accommodations for the players themselves were of poor quality.

More reaction:

• Oh You Beauty weighs in on the matter.
• Rick Parry's response.
• Tom Hicks chimes in.

**UPDATE**
UEFA President Michel Platini has gone on record as saying that Liverpool's supporters should not bear the blame for the troubles in Athens. He is also one of the first people to point out that Liverpool fans greatly outnumbered Milan fans in Athens. The law of averages tells you there was a greater likelihood of incidents involving Liverpool fans because of this fact. Platini also failed to produce the now infamous report of 25 incidents involving Liverpool supporters over the last 4 years. So now we're stuck with conflicting messages coming from UEFA. Who are we supposed to believe?

**BREAKING NEWS**
Finally a ray of sunshine for the LFC faithful, the club's official website is reporting that Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher have signed new deals to remain with the club through 2011. Hopefully this is just the first show to drop in a very fruitful transfer season.

Stanley Cup Finals Breakdown: Anaheim vs. Ottawa

So it has all come down to this... a battle between water fowl (who are not even Mighty any more) and politicians (insert dishonesty/corruption/etc. joke here) to see who can claim the greatest prize in North American professional sports (not including the WNBA title of course). Both teams have been on a mission all postseason and neither has really been challenged thus far. So what can we expect from the last couple weeks of hockey season?

Any time you are breaking down hockey you have to start between the pipes, and in my opinion goaltending is by far the greatest inequality in this series. J.S. Giguere is making his second trip to the Finals, while Ray Emery is clinging desperately to his teammates' jersey straps. I'm not ready to put Giguere on the list of elite NHL netminders, but he is a very good goalie and should be at ease in the Finals thanks to previous experience. And then we have Ray Emery... Ever since Ottawa went up 3-0 on the Sabres I have been trying to think of a worse starting goalie to make it to the Stanley Cup, and I have yet to come up with one. Jon Casey with the North Stars in '91 comes to mind, but I think I would still go with him over Emery, especially relative to other goalies in the NHL at the time. Yes Ray Emery's numbers are solid and yes he has yet to really struggle in these playoffs, but that being said he just isn't that great of a goalie. I would describe him as solid at best. I just don't think he is capable of bringing home the Cup for Ottawa.

The rest of the series breaks down like this for me:

• The Sens have a slight edge at forward 1 through 12.
• The Ducks are better on D.
• Ottawa won't be able to handle the Ducks' physicality.
• It's way past time for Daniel Alfredsson to pull off his annual disappearing act.
• Scott Niedermeyer = WINNER!
• Ottawa just doesn't deserve to hoist the Cup after letting their goalie get beat up earlier this year in Buffalo.
• I just wouldn't feel right watching Dany Heatley celebrate winning the Cup.

That all said, it should be a good series. My prediction:

Ducks in 6!

Kicking the NHL while it's down.

NBC did yet another disservice to the NHL yesterday, as if the horrible announcers and camera work weren't enough. Instead of showing the overtime of the series deciding game between Ottawa and Buffalo, NBC switched to people talking about horses. NBC dumped the hockey game at the end of regulation (the game shifted to VS.) so that they could continue their Preakness coverage. NBC Studio anchor Bill Clement summed it up best when he said,"Ottawa and Buffalo have just begun playing in overtime... we'll let you know as soon as somebody wins."

Overtime in the the NHL playoffs is widely considered to be sport at its finest, yet NBC pulled the plug so that we could all watch horses walk around in the rain. For the record, the hockey game ended almost half an hour before the horse race took place. NBC could have easily shown the game and still had plenty of time for pre-race crap. Instead they turned their backs on the NHL and its fans. I don't think the NHL is without blame in all of this, but if you are NBC why bother trying to promote the NHL if you are going to end up pulling a stunt like this? If the NHL is going to schedule its playoff games around when you want them, then at least have the decency to show the whole game.

This isn't the first time network TV has screwed over the NHL, and it probably won't be the last unfortunately, but at some point the NHL has to put itself in a position to not have this happen. If NBC won't commit to showing an entire game then don't move the games to afternoons for them. On the plus side, all us hockey fans learned a lot about horses this weekend.

You can't spell suspension without S-U-N-S

Enough already! The world has apparently spun off its axis and Robert Horry seems to be the one to blame. Nevermind that Steve Nash completely overdid his reaction to Horry's hard foul with his little "help I've been shot" routine in front of the scorer's table. Nevermind that David Stern and the NBA enforced their no leaving the bench rule exactly how they always have. Nevermind that Stoudemire and Diaw chose to come running over to the scene when they had to know the consequences. Forget all of that! The Spurs are evil and their impending NBA title is undeserved.

Enough already! The sporting world (and sports media in particular) is out of control. People have been far to eager to dish out blame for the way this series has gone down, but nobody wants to look at who is really at fault. Are the Spurs at fault for trying to exploit their opponent's apparent weakness? No. Is Robert Horry at fault for the suspensions received by Suns players? No. Is the NBA at fault for being consistent with the way they enforce their rules and hand out suspensions? Nope. Are Amare Stoudamire and Boris Diaw at fault for leaving their bench? Yes!

The public and media seem to begrudge stars getting special treatment (just look at the reaction to Roger Clemens' deal with the Yankees), yet the NBA is being taken to task for suspending two Suns players that are key to their chances of winning. Imagine the reaction if David Stern had come out and said, "Well, Stoudemire and Diaw should be suspended, but they're really good and the Suns need them, so no dice." Yeah, that would have gone over well. The NBA took the only possible course of action in what has turned out to be something of a no win situation. They stayed the course and enforced the rules the way they always do. Which brings us back to Stoudemire and Diaw. They knew the consequences for leaving the bench and they did it anyway. Manu Ginobli didn't drag them over, they ran over of their own free will. And then they paid the price. If Suns/NBA fans want to hang blame one somebody for what has gone on in this series they need to start with Stoudemire and end with Diaw. Then shut up and give the Spurs their due.

Who says sports sites don't have a sense of humor?

If a headline like that doesn't draw in readers, nothing will.

Weekend in Review: Blood, Cash, and Tears

Looks like Steve Nash made one too many anti-Quebec jokes.

Roger Clemens announced his return to the Yankees... Hitler style!

Chelsea came to grips with the fact that they are losers and cried it out for the world to see.

Also:

• Some horse won a race.
• Some guy won a boxing match.
  

This is how we roll in Oaktown.

Yup, the Mavs can suck it!

This is what it's all about!

Pack your bags, we're headed for Athens!